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Your parcel has arrived Mr.Potter 哈里.波特先生,您的包裹已送达

发布日期:2017-08-08

"Get up you lazy muggle, you must leave now." 

"I am a ... what?"

 

Harry Potter puton his glasses slowly.  

"Muggle, Harry. You are a muggle."

 


It was Professor Snape.


" I don't know what you are talking about but I am a fifth-year-student inHogwartz for sure. Don't you play dumb with me or I will turn you into a cheesyroast beef sub. Expelliarmus!"

"Expelliarmus! Expelliarmus! Ex---"


"That's enough. You're already expelled from Hogwarts, which literallymeans you are a muggle now. Harry, I feel sorry for you, but even a cast aseasy as Expelliarmus can hardly becasted by an expelled muggle. "

"Not a good pun I must say. But hey, why on earth am I expelled for noreason anyway? The Headmaster loves me so much!"



"Once again, I feel really sorry for you. However, rules are rules." saidProfessor Snape with a crooked smirk, pulling a scroll out of his cloak,"'School bans no.39: students whoplace more than THREE orders from Taobao in a week would be expelled forexhausting precious school owls." said Professor Snape.

 


“May I kindlyinform you that all your belongings have to be removed before midnight.Farewell, Harry. "

--
With his heart broken, Harry sadly stared at his Taobao mountains for a longtime. Piles of boxes are all over the floor. The most serious problem for Harrynow, was that he'd never carried so many luggages without the help of magic.

"Pack! Pack! Wingaaadiumlevio-o-o---" he finally bursted into tear, "give me back mymagic power!"

With Harry's tearing cry, a stunning light suddenly cracked out from the cornerof the room.

"You are Mark... Mark Bond." cried Harry, weaklycrawling on the floor. 

"Thats right kid. Whenever you need to pack your stuff, move out or storeanything, Mark Bond is always on your mark. "


Mark Bond then took out a leaflet from one of the sleeves and handed it to Harry."We've got different plans for different service needs. We've got superiorsolution for all kinds of house moving problems. "



Harry thought he saw a light of hope. Smiling with tired face, he slowly leanedon the floor and had his eyes closed. He'd already had enough strikes today.

----

"Harry, are you alright?" 

"What happened... Where am I now?"

"What are you talking about? You kept yelling at us while you weresleeping. I think you must be dehydrated by the hot whether. Just rest more," said Ron.

"By the way, it would be nice if you have a thoroughly cleanup for theroom. I step on your Taobao boots and nearly fall down every time I get to mybed."

Harry gazed on his stuff. "Thankfully it's just a nightmare. " Hethen quickly found out something unusual on the floor-- the Mark Bond leaflet was just lying on oneof the Taobao parcels.

"It seems like, " said Harry, "when it comes to packing things and moving, Mark Bond truly is thegreatest magic, isn't it."

Some pictures come from internet.



中文版本


“你这懒惰的麻瓜,快起床,给我现在就滚出这所学校。”

 

“我——什么?我怎么了?”

 

“麻——瓜。波特,你已经是个麻瓜了。”

 

 

“我待在霍格沃茨五年了,还是头一次遭这种忽悠,洗洗睡吧你,再瞎弄我要把你变成深海鳕鱼堡了!除你武器!

 

除你武器除你武器——”

 

“还是得了吧。都是个被学校开除了的麻瓜了。就算是‘除你武器’这种小儿科咒语,麻瓜也是无能为力的。”

 

“喂,我这么三观极正一心讨伏的好学生,无缘无故咋就被学校开除了呢!何况校长对我是爱(ji)护(qing)有加啊!”

 

 

“哼,那还真是遗憾的很。但规矩如此,”斯内普说着,边从那蝙蝠翅膀般的斗篷下拿出一卷羊皮纸,“‘教育禁令第三十九条:一星期内下淘宝下单超过三件的学生,出于使学校的猫头鹰过劳而得解除学籍。’”

 

斯内普继续说:“波特,我建议你午夜十二点前把你那些肮脏龌龊的行李跟包裹统统移出宿舍。还是说,你或许还想办个饯别晚宴?那是随你的便,永别了。”

 

哈利心都碎了。他盯着地板上那些堆积如山的淘宝包裹,**的问题就在于:他在没有魔法的帮助下从未徒手搬过这么多的行李。

 

统统打包统统打包羽加迪姆 · 勒维奥萨!……”

 

 

然而并没有什么卵用,满地的杂物可是不动如山。

 

“天啦噜!谁来救救可怜的我啊……”

 

在撕心裂肺的呼喊下,一道炫目至极的奇异光芒突然从寝室的角落迸发而出。

 

你是……马帮帮!?”软瘫在地的哈利叫道。

 

很会嘛,小子。不过你怎么知道我就是马帮帮呢?”马帮帮低头看了下自己的制服,马上又抬头说道。“好吧,反正哪里需要打包或是搬运服务,我,马帮帮,随时出现在需要我的地方!”



马帮帮在衣袖底下抽出一卷羊皮卷递给哈利,“我们有针对不同需求而制定的不同种类的优惠套餐,搬家这种事情根本就是小儿科。我看看啊……你一个单身汪要搬家,当然就是这个单身汪套餐*合适了……”在马帮帮扫视了满地的包裹之后,又对哈利指着羊皮卷的一处说:“看来东西不少啊?没关系,白骨精套餐怎么样?在一起套餐或者全家福套餐也是可以的……”

 

“但是,”哈利无力的说,“水蜡树街根本放不下这么多东西,都搬回去的话肯定会被他们轰出家门的。”

 

“不用担心,我马帮帮还提供仓储服务。家里放不下的东西可以寄存在我们这儿,搬运方便,保存安心!”

 

哈利终于看到一丝希望的曙光,但此时的他已经听不进去任何东西了。他带着微笑的倦容,在脏乱的地板上徐徐合上眼皮。他收到的打击和惊吓已经够多了。

 

 

“哈利,哈利!你还好吗!?”

 

“什么东西……别烦我了……东西收拾好我自己就会走了……”

 

“你在胡说哪道啊?从你午睡没多久就一直大呼小叫的,40度的天气把你晒干了吧?我想你可能中暑了。还是多休息吧,或者一起去喝个奶油啤酒什么的……”

 

“对了,等你好起来后,如果能把寝室的东西都整理整理那就太~好了。每次我上床时都会踩到你的淘宝靴子差点扑街,每次都是不同款的靴子!你也太夸张了。”

 

哈利真是累坏了。这是他头一次为自己作噩梦而庆幸。他慢慢的滚下床,轻轻的看着满地的淘宝货叹了口气。然而令他质疑人生的事情就在眼前:马帮帮宣传羊皮卷正正躺在他的一个淘宝包裹上。

 

“看来,马帮帮真正是个搬家的超强魔法啊。”



图片来源于网络,侵删。

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